I am consumed. I can think of nothing but adoption, and when this adoption will finally take place. I dreamed last night that while my mother stayed with my other children while we were in China, she repainted the girls' room a bright yellow color...OVER the lovely flowered blocks handpainted around the room. I was horrified and then woke up. If you know my mother, you know this is not a real fear of mine because there is no danger of my mom repainting my house. It does show, however, that I am starting to get nervous about leaving my babies. They will be fine without me. Maybe that's it. They will be too fine without me. I've never been away from them for longer than 3 days! It's hard to give up control and trust someone else to do my job, even though it's the perfectly capable grandparents who managed to raise us somehow!
Holt sent a generic email today saying they're planning for a group of us to enter Beijing Dec 16th. That is no dang good in my mind because we won't be home before Christmas. God, I'm crying out! Please, please let us get there and back before Christmas!