It's Thanksgiving, and I woke up with the worst attitude. No gratitude. The reality of leaving my children over the next upcoming holiday had hit me again, and I apparently am not any more reconciled to it than I was 2 weeks ago. I'll say it again. God has a plan. But without seeing what good things He must have in store, I've been getting angry (or sad or anxious) because God could have brought our Jada home sooner. So I started making a mental list of things I am thankful for, in spite of how I'm feeling. For my own benefit, I wanted to record my reasons for why I should be thankful.
1. I have Jesus, my Savior, and without Him my life has no purpose.
2. I have Laith, my sweet husband, who is willing to find out the hard way if I can be a good mom to 5 children. You will not meet a man with a bigger heart or harder working hands. You won't, go ahead and try. I'm tempted to gush about him because he has been truly wonderful to listen to my fears and complaints, but I'll move on.
3. We have extended family who have bent over backwards to help us in life in general, but also with this adoption. Our Jada will join a family that joyfully anticipates her arrival just like they did her brothers and sister. They are making this time of being away as painless as possible. Oh Jesus, what a mess I would be if they weren't supporting us!
4. I have amazing kids who understand why we will be gone and are being mature and optimistic about it all. They want their little sister home more than their own way. They're awesome! And cute. And funny. You can see why I'd want to spend Christmas with them...but I digress.
5. We get to bring Jada home THIS YEAR. Finally. She's the bonus here. We will have her in our arms for Christmas.
6. There have been so many financial blessings that I don't have the energy to list them all right now. They're big though. Bigger than we imagined, more than we deserved...isn't that God's M.O.? And we should qualify for the adoption tax credit this year. Shew. Praise you Father.
7. We have our tickets and travel all booked. We are going to China! I still can't believe this.
There's more. I didn't even mention how many wonderful friends we have. That can be another day's list, but truth be told I think it just didn't occur to me because I just consider them family. Sorry friends, I guess I just adopted you too.
So why so downcast, oh my soul? Put your hope in God, and bless the Lord oh my soul!