Friday, March 18, 2011


Oh, I've never been good at waiting.  And I'm finding that waiting for an adoption to materialize is a series of waiting, not just one long wait.  This is what I mean: Right now we are waiting to hear from a grant we applied for, and waiting to get our dossier documents back from the consulate, so we can send them off again and wait to get a match, and we are waiting to see if we can raise enough money for our matching grant, and waiting for our travel date so the 3rd grant might just possibly get approved.

So I check my email, and I check it again, and then re-click that inbox button before I give up and walk away frustrated.  Ohhhh, I'm not good at this.  I try to remind myself that my wait is nothing, that our little girl, our Xi Wang (Hope) is waiting too.  But that doesn't really help anything!  Her waiting for me gives me no peace!  I want, need, have to rescue her!  Now I do realize that she likely is being well cared for, and I pray she is, and I do hope that she doesn't feel the wait.  But this ache is tangible. 

Our little Xi Wang, I am waiting with you.

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